Stop Trying

Barney was really moany and clingy all day yesterday, begging for "mummy-cuggle" and trying desperately to be on my lap. The funny thing was, he had been on my lap for most of the day, but even while he was seated there, he was begging and trying to get even closer, asking for "mummy-cuggle" and trying to get where he already was; on my lap.

I was telling my husband this and he started laughing and said what a great picture it was of so many believers. It really is the perfect description of what so many of us spend so much of our lives begging and striving for.

So many of our prayers, songs, fasts and meetings are about getting closer, getting on Daddy's lap, having more of Him, feeling His presence, drawing near; when the truth is, we're already as near as we could ever be! We already have more than we could ever need!

We need to understand that what Jesus has done for us is totally and utterly complete. There is nothing we can add to it. He's not given us a little and is waiting to pour out the greater portion as soon as we pray right or do right. We can't earn any more than He's already given us. His work is complete. We can't add to it by prayer or striving or serving.

We don't need to contend for anything:

Ephesians 1:3

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

We don't need to strive for more of Him in us or beg to be closer to Him than we already are:

Galations 2:20

For I have been crucified with Christ and it's no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.

So just enjoy being on Daddy's lap. Stop striving to be where you already are, who you already or are gifted with what you already have. Enjoy the fullness He has already given you and rejoice that there is nothing more you can add to His perfect, beautiful salvation.

Oh and read Romans. It blows my mind!

Glory!

I'm terrible at this

It would seem that I'm an unforgivable inconsistent blogger. It's simply because I forget. And to be honest, there are many activities vying for my time. I guess blogging isn't at the top of my list. It's helped that I have no audience, so no pressure from people begging to read my admittedly dull ramblings.

Today I've been thinking about just how much has changed for us since we moved to Chester. For me personally, I certainly feel I'm a better housewife than I knew I could be. Keeping the house clean and the fridge stocked is harder work than I thought it could be, especially with a wee man snapping at my heels. But being in Chetser, we seem to have gotten into more of a rhythm than we ever have before. Having dinner ready in time for Rob getting back from work means it's early enough for Barney to eat with us. I take pleasure in cooking food that's hearty and wholesome and nutritious and the ingredients of which don't read like a science experiment. Always having baked goods on hand is nice too, helps me have a rhythm about my week and provides Barney with healthy snacks. Not to mention it saves money! I think I've been inspired by people like Jamie Oliver, who are so passionate about good food. He's quite convicting. Big love.

I have space and room to think here too. Where we used to live, I felt like my brain was furry. I couldn't think, meditate, perculate ideas. Maybe that's a spiritual thing. I certainly have a freedom spiritually here to minister effectively and use my gifts in an increasing amount. Maybe that's spilled over into my ability to think and consider.

One thing I love about my husband is how we chew stuff over together, really grapple with a concept. We usually arrive at the same conclusion, which rarely is actually a conclusion. More a state of what feels "right" but with the knowledge that the Holy Spirit might show us more at any given time. I think we're in trouble as soon as we think we understand or fully know something. We must remain teachable. We can never, ever fully know the distant reaches of our huge, huge God. We could explore His ways forever and still have more to learn.

Lately I've been dwelling on a few particular issues.. they're kinda ideas that need germinating and saturating with Word and Spirit in order to grow and bear fruit. Things I might speak on in the future..

Jesus is our perfect theology.. too often people preach the gospel based on their experience rather than based on the gospels. Ha ha. How many times have you heard it said, "God sometimes heals. Sometimes He doesn't". I understand why people say this. Because it's their experience. But their experience cannot form their theology or worse yet, the theology of those they are teaching. Actually, Jesus healed... everyone. Jesus heals. He is our perfect theology. Instead of lining up our theology with our theology, we need to start lining up our experiences with our theology.. and our theology? Jesus is our perfect theology.

Also I've been thinking about how we can so unthinkingly consume what we're fed, even if it's actually scripturally unsubstanciated. Worse yet, not only do we absorb this tripe, but we propound it, preach it and hang on to it for dear life. We tell people earnestly these things that are "true" but have no truth. We need to start looking at scriptures honestly. Actually read what is there instead what we've been told is there. Read the words, not the religious subtext we've absorbed and have started to view the scriptures though. I've a bunch of examples. Jesus' home, the husband being the head (of what?), tithing (ooh er! controversy!). It's scary how little we think. How readily we eat junk. And then try and pass it off as our own. Time to wake up.

Something else I've been pondering is about hurts and experiences in our lives. I feel like an acid test of whether you've walked out Roman 8v28 is how you talk about a situation, person, or time in your life. If you having nothing good to say about the person or situation who hurt you, if you still speak about it with bitterness, it seems that you've not yet overcome, had the victory and been healed in that area. You've also not yet enjoyed the truth of Romans 8v28. You see, Jesus on the cross suffered, was in pain, was at the lowest, most betrayed point of His life. He saw that situation through. He dies to it. And Hallelujah, He rose again. And with His resurrection He took authority over death! We need to stay on that cross, die to that situation, go through that pain and allow the resurrection to happen, emotionally speaking.

Hmm.. these are all vague notions of some many hours of thinking.. But here's as good a place as any to note them.. I'll carry on brewing and maybe make something of them some time.

Opinions

The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever

Isaiah 40:8

But the word of the Lord stands forever

1 Peter 1:25

Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens

Psalm 119:89

I can be so precious about my opinions. About having them heard, agreed with and respected. Truth is though, no matter how passionate, aggressive or assertive I am about them, no matter how right I think I am, when I die, my opinions will go with me. They won't last. They mean nothing.

But the Word of the Lord stands forever.

I guess thinking about it, I'd rather be wrapped up in His word than my own opinions.

Skyman came to the door..

Skyman: This isn't a trick question, everyone always thinks it's a trick question. Have you got a tv?

Me: No

Skyman: Right, well, what I can do for you is.. No it's not a trick question, have you got a tv?

Me: No

Skyman: Right, well, what I can do for you is.. you don't have a tv?

Me: No

Skyman: Right, well, do you have phone and internet?

Me: Yes

Skyman: Right, well, what I can do for you is phone, internet and tv. Are you gonna get a tv?

Me: No

Skyman: *Fiddles nervously with pen

Me: *Looks bemused

Skyman: Woops, that's my pen, I'll just go and pick that up

Me: *Trying not to giggle

Skyman: Well I can do phone, internet and tv..

Me: We don't want a tv

Skyman: Are you happy with your current service?

Me: We don't have a tv

Skyman: Right, well, what I can do is phone, internet and tv for you

Me: We don't want a tv

And so on and so forth.

Chester: an update

We moved to Chester (!) on 11 September. That was weird! Rob and I kept getting hit with waves of realisation and excitement during the drive up here. They never seemed to be in synch though, I'd be crying behind the wheel while he'd be smiling and saying "wow!" And then excitement would over-take my sadness just as he'd get a bit emotional. It was such an odd thing driving up here knowing it was final. And were it not for family, friends and the sea it would have been entirely a joyous experience! I am thankful though that I have so many people to miss. The distance is painful, but I'd rather that than have no-one to miss!

We got the keys to our house on 15 September, so we've been here for almost two months. It seems like a lifetime, in many ways. God's goodness to us since arriving has been entirely in keeping with the way He led us to come here.. utterly extravagant!

A few examples..

Shortly after we moved in, on 3 consecutive days, we received the following:

1. £250 as a "thank you" from our mortgage provider

2. A luxury hamper as a "thank you" from our mortgage provider

3. £280 as a "thank you" from our mortgage provider

We were expecting none of this, but it really blessed us as it covered the unpaid weeks we had between Rob leaving his old job and starting his new.

In addition to this, we started to decorate our living room (deep red, dark pink and magnolia, FYI) and decided that in time we'd save up and get a big chunky gold framed mirror to hang over our fire place, an old fashioned red rug for our floor and a nice gold picture frame for a painting of Christ that Rob did a few years ago. These items are pretty pricey, so we figured it'd be a way off. But we found a big chunky gold framed mirror in the house we've just bought. We also found a gold picture frame in the house. And finally, believe it or not, Rob found rolled up in the back of one of our sheds an old fashioned red rug!

It's utterly outrageous. It's not blessings or provision we need. It's luxury stuff. It's almost like God just showing off! Wanting to make the point, as if He hadn't made it clear enough already, that He just loves to bless His kids.

He surely is an abundant God!

Rob is loving his job and his boss seems delighted to have him there. Rob gets to do a lot of repairs on old antique pieces, as well remaking, restoring and redesigning unsaleable bits of jewellery. He loves how creative it is. He's also had a real favour on his work too, he has found himself working way beyond his years and experience and his skills have just sky-rocketed as a goldsmith. God has been good to him and I am so delighted to see him so happy.

It's been hard as well though, especially I think for me, as Rob goes out to work each day and leaves me and Barney. I felt quite isolated for the first month, trying to straighten out our home with no family on hand. It's hard. And I miss my mum and my sister something bad. BUT I know we are where we are meant to be and that is the best feeling. Ever.

The greatest thing has been our new church. There is so much going on. Since we've been here, I've prayed with about 10 people who have given their lives to the Lord, I've prayed with at least that many again who have been healed of lumps, trapped nerves, pains, sickness etc etc. God is moving and it's wonderful!

Rob and Aliss are simply amazing friends and leaders and we are so happy to be here alongside them. We've started a home group, Rob's been playing his vile-din, guitar and drums a whole lot, which he enjoys and I've been mentoring a lovely local girl, which is a real gift. I've been working for GloryFires too on our soon to be launched online bookstore.

So, in short, we are all 3 of us are still alive! And most definitely happy and healthy. We really appreciate all the prayers and good wishes that have been extended to us. And we would LOVE to have visitors, so if you want to visit historic Chester, let me know!

Oh and a word for people reading this who might be WAITING for breakthrough or direction.. It's never without a purpose. God works ALL things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Our move up here got off to such a flying start in June.. but then unexpectedly, it started to d.r.a.g on. I mean, it really slowed up. We got seriously frustrated. However, Rob's work were really patient and all we could do was wait. So I prayed the time wouldn't be wasted. And do you know, it wasn't! Had we stayed on schedule and moved sooner, I would have missed having a visit with a beautiful old work friend just a few days before we moved and I wouldn't have had the sheer joy and privilidge of introducing her to Jesus! God used our waiting to bring another soul into His kingdom.. so if you find yourself waiting in life, just ask God to make the most of it. He'll have good plans for that time, He doesn't miss an opportunity to bless and work things together for good.

Ju xxx

How we came to be in Chester

July 2010

We have some wonderful friends, Rob and Aliss Cresswell, who I was at ministry school with at MorningStar. Since graduating, they have planted a church and a cafe and a bookshop where they have people getting saved and healed every day. Their ministry is amazing and they are witnessing dozens and dozens of miracles every month. They have also just become the first MorningStar church outside of the USA.

Last autumn, for various reasons, Bertie and I felt that God would be moving us on and that we needed to really start seeking Him very intentionally about where He wanted us. Several trusted friends gave us prophetic words and said we should take time out from our local church and others suggested we go and see Aliss and Rob. So we went and visited them for a few days and had a great stay in Chester. We felt very at home in Chester and significantly were able to move and minister in our gifts there very freely.

Our trip home was really awful, we had road works, diversions, traffic, the car broke down, I had anyphalactic shock from a banana (which I'm not allergic to and when Bertie rebuked the allergic reaction in Jesus name it just stopped), torrential rain and finally a very scary

near accident.

We got home (at nearly 5am after 7+ hours of driving) wondering why our trip had attracted so much attack. We started wondering if maybe we were meant to be in Blacon.

In January we stopped regularly attending our church and instead spent Sunday's just enjoying God as a family, seeking Him and visiting other churches. The first message we heard at a the first church we visited in this period was on Belonging. It really resonated with me, the speaker spoke on how belonging wasn't just about being somewhere you wanted to be, but somewhere that you were wanted.

Well, we felt it right to visit Chester again and went up last Tuesday. We had been seeking God for direction for another 6 months now and were desperate just to hear from Him where we were to be. We didn't care where He wanted us, we just wanted to be in His will. We felt strongly that this trip would be decisive for us, we would know we either would or wouldn't be moving to Blacon.

Bertie is a goldsmith/diamond setter. It's a very niched job and we knew that God would use employment as a firm indicator for us that we should move. Outside of Birmingham, London and Brighton there is little work for setters. Most places are retail only and send work off to be done in one of the main jewellery centres. Well, day one in Chester and a jewellery shop offers Bettie a job. They have a vacant workshop. They want to fit it out and have him work for them. They haven't seen his CV or work, they have no idea how capable he is, they just want him. Miracle number one! They say that are willing to do whatever is needed to make it possible for him to move up and work for him. They'll pay whatever salary is needed and even drive down and pick stuff up for us. Insane!

I am sure you are familiar with how mental house prices are here in Brighton. Even rental prices it's like £1000 for a house to rent per month. And 60k will buy you a car parking space in Brighton, minimum 100k for a studio. We are totally unable to buy here. In fact renting is so crazy that we had to move house 4 times in our first 3 years of marriage. We are desperate to stay somewhere and put down roots and make our own home. Well, we visited a mortgage advisor in Blacon and he didn't laugh at us! We can afford a mortgage! Miracle number two! So we viewed 7 houses and found "The One".

So, we can afford a mortgage, but we have no deposit! So we go to Rob and Aliss' church on Sunday... Now this brings us back full circle to where we started, about belonging being where you are wanted. This church is mall, like 40-50 people. In a really seriously deprived area. The people there do not know us from Adam and they take up an offering for us to help our costs to move up. I was just crying, talk about being wanted! And this little body of believers gave us an offering that covers nearly all of the deposit we need.. Seriously mindblowing. Miracle number three!

We put in an offer on 'our' house, for 10k less than the asking price. It's an offer which needs the vendor to pay 5% of our deposit, and we will pay the other 5% (thank you church!). The vendor declined so we up our offer by a ridiculous £500 and after initially declining again, we got a call the next day to say she'd accepted! Insane! Miracle number four!

The following morning we found that Bertie's job wouldn't be paying quite enough to afford us the mortgage we need. Within an hour I was offered a part time job doing something that really excites me which I can doe from home and the wage covers exactly our shortfall for the mortgage. Miracle number five!

The mortgage we need has now been agreed in principle, hallelujah! However it was dependant on Bertie starting work before the funds would be agreed and released, meaning we'd need to be in Chester with nowhere to live. Miracle number six, our mortgage advisor has advised with much bemusement that the mortgage provider will overlook this and will confirm the mortgage before he starts work. Please everyone pray for Steven the mortgage advisor who should really get saved as a result of all this madness!

The favour of God on this is tangible and ginormous and I am sure we will rack up a lot more miracles before the move date.

We still have a lot of hoops to jump through, but we are totally expecting the unexpected now and totally trusitng God is gonna provide!

Please do pray for us, we have a lot of needs yet, but God is good, all the time, God is good!

Our dear friend Ryan sent us this a few weeks ago.. gotta love a bit of prophetic input!

Soap

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times!

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy,
Relief Maid
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won’t need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don’t get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That’s the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
———————————————————————————————–
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

* On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.